The News is Overwhelming
by Chikuma Kanagaki
Summary: I need to absorb it slowly; I don't want Peeta to see me in this kind of state over me being pregnant. Being pregnant with his baby. I want to tell him the news in the most pleasant way, but my plan back fires…
1. Chapter 1

I own nothing, The Hunger Games and all of its awesomeness still belongs to Suzanne Collin and will always belong to her.

Well... Enjoy!

* * *

The very first snow this year, falls outside the thick glass of the bathroom's window. I'm all alone. The floor is cold under me but I do not move; I can't move. My limbs are numb, I'm paralyzed.

I can't even blink my eyes, I have been staring at the same spot under the sink for a very long time, an hour, two, five; I have no idea. I'm not sure about a lot of things at the moment, let alone time.

My breath is heavy and shallow, I'm gasping for air. I just forget how to breathe, I just forget about a lot of things.

I'm terrified…

I just find out that I'm pregnant and I am afraid.

I told Peeta that I'm ready, that I want it as much as he always wants it. But when it actually happens, I'm terrified. The only real thing I can think of right now is '_What If I mess it up beyond repair_…'

I need to absorb it slowly, I don't want Peeta to see me in this kind of state over me being pregnant. Being pregnant with his baby.

He will be sad and anxious. Thinking that he made mistakes by not persuade me to think over it over and over again, even though he already gave me fifteen years to think. Even though he wants this baby so badly, he practically begs for it.

I know Peeta very well, he'll blame himself over everything that happens to me and I hate it so much. I hate it when he blames himself, when he belittles himself & when he thinks about other things above himself, especially me. He deserves better.

But again, he is Peeta. The nicest person that ever exists. I don't even need Haymitch to remind me every single time that I don't deserve him. But then again Peeta chooses me and who am I to ever ward him off, again. I learned my lesson.

I look down to the pregnancy test, a little stick on my fingers. The sign is positive, a plus. So… I'm suppose to be really pregnant, aren't I? My period is late for the first time and the pregnancy test I did, saying it out loud.

I'm pregnant.

That at this very moment, a tiny human being is growing inside of me. Inside my belly, my womb.

A tiny human being that has a little part of me and a little part of Peeta is growing inside my very womb, at this very moment. A little Katniss or a little Peeta. Yes, a little Peeta. My little Peeta. My sweet little Peeta, with adorable blue eyes and blonde curls.

Suddenly, I feel warm. I hug my abdomen over my baby. Over Peeta's baby. Over our baby. Another Mellark is on the way. I smile. Another nicest person is on the way. I wonder who'll be the nicest then, when there are two nicest people alive.

Alive…

It's alive! There is something alive inside me! What if I make a huge and irreparable mistake and it dying. Like the others. Dead because of me, because of my stupidity. My selfishness.

Tears streaming down my face. I'm sobbing, hard. My body is shaking.

I can't be responsible for its death. Peeta will hate me, despises me. I will hate myself, despise myself. I can't handle anymore losing. Another lost and I'll die. I'll have nothing left. I can't survive it.

I can't lose it. I can't lose this baby. My baby. Peeta's baby. Our baby. Our child. Our first child. It's ours. I want it. I need it. I love it. I want and need this baby because I love it.

I smile, my tears lessen.

I love it! I love it already! I love it so much already. As much as I love its father. Peeta.

Maybe I was not very clever at that department before, since it takes me so long to finally understand and accept fully that I love Peeta all along. Since that awful hollow day maybe. Since I saw the red weal on his cheekbone, since he threw me the loaves, since he took the beating from his mother for saving me. Saving my mother and… Prim.

Peeta gave and did so much for me, but I never repay my debt. He wanted this baby and who am I to deny him.

I'm better now. Clever. I'm sure that I love the baby. So much already.

I will mess up for sure, but I'll have Peeta with me. Everything always fine when I have Peeta with me. That hollow day, hunger games, quarter quells, the rebellion, after the rebellion up till now. Everything is fine. He is the dandelion in the spring after all. If only he was with me when Prim…

If only…

I love this baby. That is why I want it, need it. So I'll have it. I'll take care of it. I'll protect it. Together with Peeta. My husband. The baby's father.

I stand up. The snow have already subsided. I walk into our bedroom and see the clock. It's eleven past forty. Peeta won't be home until four.

I wipe my tears away and put the pregnancy test back into it's box in the bathroom sink. I turn the warm shower on and step in. I wash my hair, my face and my body entirely.

After I finished. I braid my hair loosely and put on a blue long sleeve shirt, a black pants and a snow suit over it.

I walk down to the kitchen downstairs carefully; I have another person to take care of now. I will mess up but I won't do it consciously. I prepare a chamomile tea inside a flask and put two pair of thermal gloves inside my pocket, and then head to the bakery in the town square.


	2. Chapter 2

The bakery is crowded. I take a tray and fill it up with a bunch of chocolate stuff, mostly muffins and cupcakes. I used to prefer cheese, but lately chocolate has been my calling. I guess the baby prefers chocolate over cheese. The baby. I smile. Now it's making sense.

Peeta is nowhere to be found, so I head to the counter where Lexy and Freya, Peeta's employee, attend customers.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Mellark," Freya smiles to me before attends her next customer.

"Mrs. Mellark!?" Lexy greets me. "Why are you here? Mr. Mellark is in the kitchen."

"Good afternoon too, Freya. Lexy," I smile and hand over my tray to Lexy. "I'm coming for breads."

"You can always pop by the back door; Mr. Mellark has already baked a bunch of cheese buns for you."

"I prefer chocolate over cheese these days, besides I want to enjoy all of this on the table next to the window. The town square looks beautiful covered by snow."

"Really? So you want to eat all of these here?"

"I do," I smile.

"How… These are a lot of chocolate!" Lexy laughs. "Okay. Do you want something to drink?"

"No, but can I borrow a mug? I bring some chamomile tea with me."

"Of course. Do you want me to tell Mr. Mellark you are here, too?"

"No, it's fine. I'll finish the breads first."

"Alright, I'll deliver your breads and the mug soon."

"How much?"

"Oh… no, you don't pay here."

"Don't be silly, I'm a customer."

"No, you're not. You're the owner's wife," Lexy laughs.

"Yes, I'm. But today I'm buying as a customer," I laugh too. "I am practically robbing you. I don't want this bakery going bankrupt because of me."

"No, I can't. We don't take your money. That's the rule."

"If I snatch a couple of cheese buns or muffins from the oven. Today I come in from the front door, fulfill a tray with a bunch of stuff and take a seat to enjoy it. I pay," I insist.

"But…" Lexy looks unsure and confuses.

"I'm a customer, Lexy. So tell me how much?"

"Hmm… its thirty four and a quarter."

I pay the amount.

"Thank you, I deliver it soon."

"Thanks, Lexy."

I walk toward the table beside the front glass window, where the view of the town square is clear and settle myself. A moment later, Lexy comes with my breads."

"Enjoy ma'am," She smile sweetly.

"I will, thank you," I smile back.

I eat my breads eagerly, I'm practically craving for chocolate these days and the chamomile tea makes the taste blend in perfectly.

At twelve past thirty five, Peeta shows up. Bringing a big tray of freshly baked goods and starts filling up the empty basket and tray here and there. He absorbed by the task, doesn't aware of me watching him.

"Is that freshly baked chocolate cupcake? I'd like some."

Peeta turns his head to me, smiles. "Katniss? What are you doing there?"

"Well… ate some chocolate actually, I just finished the job sometime ago," I smile.

"Why don't you pop by the back door as usual?" Peeta kisses me.

"I want to be a customer today."

"A customer?"

"Yeah, a customer. A paying customer."

Peeta laughs. "What do you have in mind? Are you planning something?"

"What is that suppose to mean?" I pout.

"Nothing, It's just not like the normal you."

"Well, maybe I don't want to be normal me for once in a while," I grin mischievously. "Is the kitchen still busy? Can you off now?"

"Not really, I think Rhys and Ollie can handle it. Beside Kian shift will start soon and the noon rush start subsiding already," Peeta answers. "So you did have a plan, right?"

"Maybe, I don't know."

"You don't know?" He looks doubtful.

"Uh-huh. Can we off now?"

"You did plan something," Peeta laughs. "I need to put the tray and apron back to the kitchen first, I'll be back soon."

"Okay… and Peeta, do you keep your snow suit here?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Wear it," I smile.

Peeta looks at me for a moment; his trademark grin is on and walks hurriedly to the kitchen.

A moment later, Peeta and I walk hand in hand after Peeta put on the thermal gloves I brought with me. I lead him toward the exit gate not far away from the town square.

"So, where are you taking me?"

"Where do you want me to?"

"I don't know. The clearing? Or somewhere quiet in the woods I suppose," Peeta smiles. "You aren't planning to dump me somewhere there, are you?"

I come to stop. His words hurt me in the way I can't explain, it's just hit me so hard. I can feel tears start dwelling in my eyes, dimming my sight. It must be shown on my face, because suddenly Peeta looks concerned.

"What is wrong, Katniss?"

I let go of his hand, blinking repeatedly to rid the tears.

"Are you hurt?" Peeta grab my arms.

"I'm fine," I snap and regret it right away.

My body is shaking with tear, fear and regret now. I feel so stupid. What is wrong with me? One moment I'm so happy, warm, loved and all. Suddenly I feel hurt and angry at the same time. Then within a heartbeat I feel so sad and worthless, I'm shaking with my own sobs. Can I really blame it on the pregnancy?

Peeta comes closer and embraces me tightly.

"I'm sorry if I did something that upset you."

"Don't apologize! You do nothing wrong," I plead. "I'm just being stupid, that's all."

"Can you tell me what is wrong, please?"

I take his arm and lead on. "I will, come on."

We reach the gate and Kayden, the safeguard on duty, approaches us. Louie, his partner, waves at us behind the wide glass window of their post.

"Good afternoon, Mr. And Mrs. Mellark," Kayden greets us. "Are you two planning to visit the woods?"

"Yes, we are, Kay," Peeta smiles." How are you, today? Is your wife okay too?"

"I'm good. Isobel is fine too. The baby due in a week though, she has been grumpy."

"I hope it is a baby girl," I smile. "She'll adorable, just like Isobel."

"So… I'm not adorable, then?" Kayden laughs.

"I don't mean it that way but since you take it like that, I must say, no. You aren't, Kay."

"Ouch... That hurt."

Peeta and I chuckle.

"Lucky me to have Isobel as wife, right?"

"You got your own charm, Kay" Peeta says. "Look at my wife, you won't believe it if I weren't shouting it loud every single day for these fifteen years, huh?"

"Nah… I'll believe it. She deserves no one better than you, Peet. Have a little confidence!" Kayden frowns.

"Thanks, Kay," I smile." I tell him every time, he just too stubborn to believe me."

"You're welcome, Mrs. Mellark," I give him a look. "Geez… Alright, Katniss Mellark then. I'm on duty guys; I can't call you with your front name right now. It'll cost me my job."

"Sorry," I smile. "So… will you open the gate? We will come back around six."

"You always late," Kayden pouts. "I'll just write eight."

"Thanks again, Kay."

"You're welcome, Peet." He gestures toward Louie to pull the gate's lever. "Just be safe and return before eight, okay."


	3. Chapter 3

We walk toward the hollow log where I hid my bow and arrows. I retrieve it and lead Peeta toward the path that will bring us to our clearing. I found the clearing inadvertently twelve years ago, when I grew tired of any sight of Gale every time I enter the woods. When the new Panem government built the gates.

I wander to a different path of the woods and stumbled upon it. It shaped almost round with a small pond on one side and the trees are gone around it, covering it up from sight. I take Peeta there after several visits, after I was sure I remember the path correctly. It has been our special clearing since then.

Peeta constructed it up sometime later. He built a small shack with a _'Mellark's shack'_ sign hung on it, planted some primrose around the shack and some Katniss near the pond, where he bred some fish I brought from the lake.

I also built some snares and traps around it, spread some dandelion seeds on one end and planted some strawberry patch on the other end.

We reach it in an hour. The snow-covered the ground just like the town square, since there is no leaf canopy above it. I see some snares with games, but ignore it and walk straight toward the shack. I put my bow aside, drink some tea out of the flask and wait for Peeta to sit beside me.

"I saw some games on the snares," Peeta takes the tea a sip. "Rabbit stew for dinner. Haymitch would be pleased."

"Do you ever think of dump me?"

Peeta turns his head briskly to me. I look into his blue eyes, holding my breath.

"Please don't," Peeta puts the flask down. "Not this. Not now."

I look at him, confuse. Suddenly his body stiffens his eyes wide in horror.

He gets an attack.

I take his face in my hands and kiss him gently. I hug him tightly when I let go.

"It's okay, Peeta. That's not real. Everything is fine."

His body stiffens for a little longer before he finally hugs me back.

"I…"

"Hush… it's okay. Everything is fine, Peeta."

He releases my arms and looks at my face, tears dwells in his eyes.

"What did I do wrong?"

"You did nothing wrong, Peeta," I answer, startled.

"Then why are you dumping me?!" Peeta asks. Pain is clear in his voice.

"I'm not dumping you, what are you talking about?"

"You asked me, if I ever thought of dump you."

"Yes, I asked you," I answer, bewilderment.

"Then you are planning to dump me, aren't you?"

"No! I'm not! I will never do that. I will never think of it," I shout out loud.

I just get how Peeta took my question and I start crying, sobbing. I'm so stupid. It hurt me so much when he jokingly asked me that question on our way here, but I ask him the same question without thinking. Implying to him that his joke is true and I hurt him unintentionally.

Peeta frightened by my reaction. He holds me close, wipes my tears away and soothes me. What is wrong with us? Crying and hugging over a very stupid misconception that continually repeated.

I take him here to tell him the good news, but I carried away by his joke comment and end up makes him think I'm going to tell him a very bad news instead.

"Peeta…"

"Hmm…"

"I'm pregnant," I whisper quietly, my voice barely audible.

"Okay."

"Okay," I look into his eyes. "I just want you to know that I am happy about it. Terrified, but happy. Very happy."

Peeta looks unsure. "Um… why are you terrified and very happy again?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry; I didn't get what you said earlier."

"Then why you answered me with okay?"

"Uh… I heard you say something that I believe the answer is 'okay'," Peeta says quietly. "But then you said you happy but terrified and it just doesn't fit."

Is he really didn't hear it?

"I'm really sorry."

That's it. He really didn't hear it.

"You know what, forget it!"

"Kat-."

"Forget it, Peeta!" I take a deep breath to calm myself. "Just let it be. I'm going to collect the games."

I leave Peeta behind. It takes all my courage to tell him that I'm pregnant without being freaked out, but he didn't hear it. Worst, he replays me when he didn't even get what I said.

This scene is supposed to be beautiful, with me telling him the special news at our special place and all.

I collect all the games when I realize I didn't bring my game bag. I didn't mean to get any, so I didn't even think about it until now. I'm annoyed with myself I can't help but sobbing, again.

I get down, hug my knee and curled up on the ground, tremble with my own tears and the cold snow on the ground.

Peeta runs toward me, I can feel the ground vibrations when he gets close. He lifts me off the ground and brings me back to the shack. Embraces me tightly. I hide my face on his broad chest, sobbing even harder.

I feel so dumb. I've cried all day. What is wrong with me? I should feel tired already, shouldn't I?

"I want to go home," I whisper.

"What is it, love?" Peeta bend down; puts his ear near my face.

"I want to go home, Peeta." I repeat.

"Okay."

Peeta place me on his back and carry me home. I put my head over his shoulder and hug his neck tighter. I feel warm and safe right away. This is my place, near him. But after a while I can tell that he is panting.

"Let me down, Peeta."

"No, I'll take you all the way to home."

"I know. I'm fine, I'll walk."

"No, I'll take you all the way there."

"I'm fine, Peeta. You're panting."

"I'm fine, Katniss," he smiles.

I kiss his cheek. "Thank you and sorry."

"You do nothing to sorry about and thank you too, for the kiss."

I kiss him once again. He stops and turns his face to me, kisses me on my lips. I linger my lips on him. We let go for air and smile to each other. He starts to walk again.

"I'm going to take you home as fast as I can. My shift at the bakery is over and the bed sound very inviting, warm and comfortable for some activity."

I laugh when he speeds up.

"Oh… I don't know about that."

"What? I carry you all the way, I deserve a generous reward."

"Yes, you are. But you'll exhaust as we reach the bed, you'll prefer sleep instead."

"You get the point there."

We laugh.

"Sing for me."

"What you want me to sing?"

"The valley song."

I sing the valley song without further ado. Over and over again, quietly near his ear all the way to the twelve's gate. As we almost reach the gate, Peeta trips and almost loses his balance before he steadies himself. I clutch to his neck, my body stiffens.

"It's okay, Katniss," He touches my cheek.

"Please be careful, Peeta. I can't fall. It's dangerous for us."

"We'll be alright, a couple of scratches or bruise maybe. But, fine. You don't afraid of it do you," Peeta chuckles.

"No. Of course not. I'm just afraid if I accidentally hit my belly."

"Yeah… that's not good. You'll probably lose your appetite-."

"And probably our baby," I say quietly.

Peeta stop. "Our baby?"

"Yeah. Our baby. The one who is growing inside me."

Peeta puts me down and turns over. He looks at me, eyes wide in surprise. He moves closer and hesitantly puts his palm flat on my abdomen.

"You can't feel it yet, Peeta," I chuckle.

"Do you… do you really… are you sure, I mean are you…"

"I'm pregnant, Peeta.

"You pregnant? Katniss?"

"I have your baby in me. So, yeah… I'm pregnant," I smile.

"You PREGNANT! KATNISS IS PREGNANT! MY WIFE IS PREGNANT!" Peeta suddenly shouts.

"Peeta!" I laugh.

He laughs frantically and lift me from the ground before kiss me passionately for the longest time.

"Everything will be fine, Katniss. I'll take care both of you. I'll protect both of you. I promise. You don't have to worry. Everything is fine."

"I know," I smile. "I want, need and love this baby as much I want, need and love you, Peeta. So I know. Everything is fine."

"I want, need and love both of you too. So much. The three of us will be fine." Peeta puts his forehead on mine. "Thank you… Katniss."

I never felt happier upon a thank you before.


End file.
